


The Source of Sorrows

by inksheddings



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-20
Updated: 2010-02-20
Packaged: 2017-10-07 10:04:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/64065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inksheddings/pseuds/inksheddings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam, Castiel, and a enough guilt to go around.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Source of Sorrows

**Author's Note:**

> Coda to 5.14, "My Bloody Valentine," so definite spoilers for that episode.

Sam sits up with a groan, cotton-mouthed and crusty-eyed, but free of the effects of demon blood. He has no idea how long he's spent in the panic room, but his bladder is full and-- by the smell of things --he needs a shower. At least he woke up on the cot, not the floor, and he's sure his back will thank him later for that small mercy.

The door opens with a metallic grind and Sam is surprised to see Castiel on the other side, not Dean, and for a second he wonders if he's actually still asleep, or having another hallucination. Cas isn't even wearing his trench coat, which only adds to Sam's sense of the surreal. The need to take a piss seems real enough, though, so he stands and nods at Cas.

"Where's Dean?"

Cas doesn't say anything, but turns his head toward somewhere behind him. "He fell asleep. Leaning against the wall, Dean fell asleep."

Sam walks toward the door and expects to see his brother propped up against the wall like a mannequin or something, but he's more surprised at what he actually finds. Dean's sitting on the ground, legs out in front of him, leaning at an angle that suggests he's going to have quite the aching neck when he comes to. But the chill in the air isn't bothering him at least, because there's Cas's trench coat, covering Dean like a blanket. It's a sight Sam's not soon to forget. He looks back at Cas and smiles.

Cas's expression changes only slightly, but enough to indicate that he feels awkward. "I ... helped him down, before he fell down," he says quietly. "It seemed prudent."

Sam would laugh if he wasn't afraid of waking Dean. He just lays a hand on Cas's shoulder. "Thanks for looking out for him."

Sam gives his brother another look and decides he'll wake him after he's cleaned himself up. He's sure he looks a wreck, and he doesn't want Dean to see him until he's looking and feeling a little more ... human.

He starts heading toward the bathroom, eagerly anticipating the feel of hot water and soap, when-

"This wasn't the first time I opened the door for you, Sam."

Sam stops dead in his tracks. He starts to sweat. He should ask Cas what he means. Sam wants to ask, but he knows in his heart exactly what's being referred to. So he asks a different question.

"Why tell me now?"

Cas is silent for eternal minutes, so Sam turns around and looks at him, finally. Cas is looking not at him, but at Dean, crumpled on the floor with an angel's coat the only thing keeping him warm. Sam starts to feel angry, because if Cas wants to protect Dean, he's got a funny way of going about it.

"Jesus, Cas. You think it's fair? Putting me in this position?" Because what's Sam going to do? If he tells Dean, it'll mess things up but good. Sam has little doubt that Cas is fully on their side now, so to bring up crap that happened before ... fuck.

"Fuck," Sam says, quieter than he wants to because Dean is still somehow sleeping through this mess and-

"He didn't just fall asleep, did he?" Sam asks, not bothering to whisper anymore.

Cas tears his eyes away from Dean and looks back at Sam. "He truly did fall asleep standing up. However, as I said, I thought it prudent-"

"Fuck prudent."

Cas shuts up, but he doesn't turn away from Sam, just keeps looking at him with eyes that don't tell Sam all that much. So he asks again.

"Why tell me now?"

"I don't know."

Sam does laugh now, because he believes him, believes that Cas has no idea why he's telling Sam-- and risking Dean's wrath --that there's more than enough blame for all three of them to share when it comes to Lucifer's rise. Guilt's a funny thing, and as pissed off as Sam is right now, as much as he wants to slam Cas right into that panic room and see how he likes being trapped with ghosts of what was and what could have been and what probably will be, he needs to take a shower and a piss and let Cas stew in that all too human emotion that he has no clue what to do with.

Team Free Will, in-fucking-deed.

"I can't talk about this right now," Sam says.

Cas's expression doesn't change, but he nods slowly and looks back down at Dean.

Sam leaves them there, like that, and wishes that hot water and soap would wash away more than simple dirt and sweat.

 

**end**


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